Manhattan, New York
Last week I watched a young couple toast their new life together – with a bottle that had no business at the table.
It was a small celebration. Just the two of them and a few family members, tucked into the corner of a restaurant.
Maybe just the civil ceremony. Maybe the real party was still to come.
Or maybe they’d just sunk their savings into a down payment instead of paying for a DJ, shrimp tower, and 100 plated dinners.
Who knows. I could only raise my glass and wish them well from a distance.
To be fair, they might’ve been drinking something better than it looked. But I glanced at the wine list and spotted a bottle I knew – priced at $150. I looked it up later: retail, it goes for $30.
There it was again: the math of modern celebration. Everyone wants their cut. The more hands that touch a bottle, the worse it gets – and the more you pay.
That’s how you end up with what I call premium mediocre – a wine that wears a suit and tie, but doesn’t have a soul.
And weddings? They’re ground zero.
The venues push their distributors. The caterers make their margins on booze. Licensing laws are a tangle. You want to serve something good, something personal – but the system is designed to make that difficult, expensive, and risky.
You’re not just paying for the wine. You’re paying for everyone’s piece of it.
Add the cost of flowers, food, photos, music, and wine quietly slips to the bottom of the budget. Just something wet in the glass for toasts. Some guests won’t notice. Others go straight to the vodka like it’s a race to the bottom.
And look, I’m all for weddings.
They’re one of the last big communal rites we have. But I don’t believe in going into debt for them. The party can wait. A backyard, a few friends, a long table – that’s more than enough. People make it memorable, not the rented chandelier.
I’ve been to weddings where you barely see the couple, like they’re guests at their own event. And I’ve shared $30 bottles with friends that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
Because honestly? Some of the best wine moments don’t happen at weddings or restaurants.
They happen around a scratched-up table, a corkscrew in one hand, and a few good friends passing a bottle around.
There’s a quiet little secret, known mostly to those who’ve worked in restaurants or know the right people: some places let you bring your own wine.
BYOW – Bring Your Own Wine – is one of the best deals in wine today. In New York, some restaurants drop corkage to $10 on Sundays and Mondays. Some waive it altogether. It’s a smart move for diners, and for restaurants that care about the experience.
So if you’re getting married – or hosting any big event – and you’re doing it on private property, bring your own wine. You’ll spend less, drink better, and avoid the machinery of wedding markups.
We can help with that. Drop me a line: explorers@bonnerprivatewines.com.
If you’re planning a wedding or event and want wines with character, check out our wine clubs—delivered to your door, with stories included.
For everyday wines under $20, a good bottle shop still beats most online offers. U.S. logistics are brutal at that price point. But for wines with structure, soul, and story, especially if you’re buying by the case, ordering ahead can change the entire experience.
So whether you’re getting married, hosting dinner, or just reclaiming a Tuesday… good wine doesn’t have to be expensive. It just needs to be yours.
Cheers,
Diego